Dear Abby, Please help me. I'm perplexed, bothered, and bewildered by this highly unusual conundrum. You'll probably find this hard to believe, but the source of my perpetual perplexity can easily be summarized in two words: gift baskets.
That's right - gift baskets. Here's my dilemma: Up until recently, I considered gift baskets just plain tacky. Granted, a gift basket is a splendid gift idea if one is offering the bereaved condolences after their pet or loved one has departed to greener pastures. Also, a gift basket is a splendid gift idea when used as a peace offering to make amends. I'm reminded of a heart-warming tale of reconciliation between a boy named Joey and his beloved grandmother: Although the winning grand-slam saved the day, turning little Joey into a small-town hero, Joey's grandmother viewed matters from a slightly different perspective.
As the Small-town Sluggers celebrated their historic victory with pandemonium and Gatorade-laced cocktails, moments earlier, the same game-winning baseball had taken a turn for the worst, rocketing over the meadow and through the window of Joey's grandmother's house. Although she was hospitalized as a result of this wayward baseball, all was subsequently forgiven when little Joey handed granny a gift basket, along with a card that said: So sorry about the damage I did Busted your window and then you slid Though I cannot undo those unfortunate events Your Persian rug to the cleaners was sent I demolished your dentures Your coo-coo clock too All of these I'll replace But I can't replace you Though you may not forgive me At least let me ask it Accept my apology And this splendid gift basket! So dear Abby, I always thought that gift baskets were splendid gift ideas to offer on sad occasions; you know, get well soon! Or please accept this as an expression of our deepest sympathies. But certainly a gift basket was not something someone would give a spouse or significant other on Valentine's Day, Christmas, Easter, Hanukah, Mother's Day and Father's Day, not to mention birthdays, weddings, housewarmings, graduations, and other special occasions.
Or was it? I'm asking for your advice because recently, the unthinkable happened. It was simultaneously frightful yet delightful. Out of the blue, an anonymous someone sent me a gift basket from a company called SplendidGiftIdeas.com. "Hmm.
What's the occasion?" I wondered. "Did somebody die?" At first I thought I'd save this for the next funeral. But then I thought, "No, better eat this stuff now before it spoils. Besides, I hear on good authority people are starving in Third World Countries and I better do my part. I started with the popcorn. Wow! Now this was not your typical popcorn.
This was top-shelf, gourmet popcorn!! And I thought Orville made good popcorn. Does this popcorn have a secret recipe, like KFC? I gobbled it up. And the other products were just as good. We're talking Cookies, Wholesome Treats, Chocolate Mini Bites, Wholesome Granola, Chocolate Fudge, Buttery Sugar Pops, etc.
And that was just for starters. I later learned the company sold over a hundred different varieties of products and gift baskets. I had no idea there were that many kind of gift baskets in the universe.
And I never knew gift basket goodies could taste so good. Psst! Again, the company is SplendidGiftIdeas.com (http://www.splendidgiftideas.com/) How could I have been so wrong for so long about gift baskets. Now I know that gift baskets are for all occasions.
They're not just for funerals anymore. Splendidly yours, Basket case Dear Basket case, My advice is, better stock up on gift baskets from SplendidGiftIdeas.com ? now! As delicious as those products are, there may not be anything left. Do your part to stop world hunger. And whatever you do, don't advertise this on the internet. Let's keep this hush-hush.
The last thing we want is for millions of people worldwide to go to http://www.splendidgiftideas.com/ and start buying gift baskets. For more information, go to http://www.
splendidgiftideas.com/ But please, save a few gift baskets for the rest of us. .
By: Tom - http://splendidgiftideas.com